Here is my favorite explanation:
Our understanding of reality and the Universe is too basic to be able to “see” them.
Here is how I can re-frame your question.
It is as if a cloud of Hydrogen atoms out in space which was ABOUT to form a Star but didn’t know it yet was wondering “where are all the other Hydrogen clouds”? It is as if a bunch of amino acids and proteins floating around in the ocean which were ABOUT to form a living cell but didn’t know it yet were wondering “where are all the other amino acids and proteins”?
A Hydrogen cloud cannot SEE other Stars because it has not become a Star yet.
Amino acids and proteins cannot SEE other living cells because they have not become a living cell yet.
Humans cannot SEE other alien civilizations because they have not become [whatever global organism we are a part of but have no conscience of being one] yet.
Your questions about resolving the Fermi paradox is like a baby inside the womb wondering where are all his “brothers and sisters”? Why is it “alone” and confined in this tight space which feels tighter and tighter by the minute as it “grows”. If you think about it, our entire story as humanity is the SAME process as that of our own birth. We “multiplied” exponentially on the surface of our Planet just like cells of a baby multiply exponentially inside the womb. We are nourished by our “Mother’s Blood” (aka, oil), we are about to suffocate in our own pee (pesticides, pollution, scarcity of resources) just like what happens when a baby goes beyond term and the amniotic fluid becomes toxic as it cannot filter out the pee fast enough. In other words, a baby cannot SEE his brothers and sisters because it has not become “human” yet. The moment it is born is the moment it realizes WHAT IT IS.
Now, understand that what is happening to US is very special.
The Star is the bridge between the world of Physics and Chemistry (it represents the rules for a harmonious interaction between all hydrogen atoms and all other atomic elements are “forged” inside the star), the living cell is the bridge between the world of Chemistry and Biology (it represents the rules for a harmonious interaction between various chemical reactions), and humans are the bridge between the world of Biology and… something else.
How would you summarize the entire story of our civilization? Has it not been “trying to figure out the rules which allow for a harmonious interaction between all humans and their ecosystem?” Which is just a repeat of what has happened to every single “layer” below us? Religion, ethics, morals, philosophy, human rights… all of them various attempts at various times in our history at finding the rules for a harmonious interaction between all of us.
And of course, your first point is correct. The Universe is designed in such a way that IF you acquire the technology to leave your Planet, you simultaneously acquire the means of self-destruction, which means that either you get the “BIG PICTURE” (as I have described here) and become a peaceful race, or you don’t, and you self-destruct. Very well designed indeed. A form of “natural selection” to ensure no one can mess up the Universe.
In short, either we will be born if we all behave like one cell inside a global organism (just like each cell inside a baby) and at that point, meet other alien civilizations, or we will be aborted for failing to act like a collective global organism and self destruct (indeed, if you look at humanity, we act more like an auto-immune disease or a virus then like a collective global organism).
But I am quite hopeful, because if we were not a viable baby, I wouldn’t have written this post.
Oh, and God exists. But it’s not remotely what anyone might expect. The Star, the living cell, the human, whatever comes after us, let’s just say all of these are “ideas” or strategies for being able to EXPERIENCE Infinity (all that is, as a still frame that cannot be experienced unless someone is there to “stitch” these infinite number of still frames together). So WE are God. Everything is God. And God doesn’t want anything. God is eternally happy and grateful for us regardless of what we do. God is like a single eternal being sitting in a movie theater, enjoying watching ITSELF on the screen, thanks to actors which volunteered to EXPERIENCE and PLAY (like a theater piece) part of all that God is. Spoiler alert, God isn’t human at all, it’s just pure consciousness, the “thing” you experience right now, as you “witness” your reality around you, the feeling of “beingness” inside of you, the fact that you “feel” being alive, here, right now, your self-awareness, that is God. You are just like ONE set of eyes, ears, and other senses to look at YOURSELF and experience YOURSELF from within… That “awareness” is there EVERYWHERE. Each atom, each molecule, each dust particle experiences itself and its surroundings, all the time. :-)
Cheers!
